STUNNING ARTICLE...DEFINITELY WORTH THE READ.

This Article Was Placed in the Personal columns of a daily newspaper in Durban To the well
 dressed black dude Who Tried to Mug Me on Durban Beachfront three nights ago I was
 the guy wearing the black denim jacket that you demanded that I hand over along with
 my wallet, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend & I, threatening our lives.
 You also asked for my girlfriend's purse, rings and earrings too. I can only hope that you
 somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your
 embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that 
cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Glock
 pistol for xmas, and we had picked up a new 'fast draw' shoulder holster for it that very
 evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your
 head wasn't it, especially when I blasted that one and only shot right past your right ear 
and out to sea? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
 bare footed with your ear bleeding and ringing like a church bell, since I made you leave
 your expensive shoes, Nokia cell phone, and wallet with me. That prevented you from
calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again. After I called your mother,
 or "Mama" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd
 done, fortunately she spoke English too, and she seemed very shocked, said you worked
 at a local bank and wouldnt do what I was telling her you had done. Anyway, I then I went
 and filled up my petrol tank as well as four other people's in the petrol garage on your
 credit card. The guy with the big V8 Jeep took R800 alone, and was extremely grateful!
 I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Joe Kools, along with all the cash in your
 wallet. That made his day! I then threw your wallet into the big 7 series Beemer that was 
parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire
 driver's side of the car. I know that this bling car belongs to a local enforcer and bouncer.
 Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Vodacom just now 
shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's
 going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the local
 ANC office and one to the bureau of state security (intelligence services) too, while 
mentioning President Zuma and Julius Malema as my probable targets. The state security
 guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat - I guess while he traced your
 number etc. In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you .... but I feel this
 type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I
 wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues,
 and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider
 the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be
 so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Hennie